Stuck

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in one place just watching everyone else live? That's how I feel right now about my life. Perhaps it's the memory of the horrible last months of my marriage that I went through a year ago, or the fact that I live in a small town with nothing to do and no friends to hang out with, or the fact that I miss my boyfriend like CRAZY and think about him everyday, but I feel like I've been in a funk this summer. I've tried different things and they've worked for a little while. Sadly, though, every time I fall back into this funk.

Now, do get me wrong, it's not that I hate my life or anything. In fact, I feel very blessed. I live with two wonderful people who are very loving and have made me feel as if I was one of their daughters (which is an honor since they have 2 fabulous daughters). I have a job that I LOVE! I have SO MANY loving friends and family! Plus, I have an amazing boyfriend who I know loves and supports me even though we are apart. So, you are probably wondering why I'm complaining then. Well, I'm not. I'm just simply saying that sometimes, even when you have a good life and feel blessed, you can get into a funk, a depression, a hole of yuckiness!

So ... what do I do about this?

About a week and half ago, I had the great opportunity to do something that I feel was life changing for me. I won't go into details of what happened, but I will tell you that I had to look deep inside of myself and see the pain and fear I carry with me. It wasn't easy! In fact, it was VERY hard! However, by recognizing and acknowledging that pain, I was able to see how it has been telling me lies. We all do this to ourselves. You know lies like "you aren't pretty," "nobody can love you," "you aren't strong enough," "you are stupid," ect. Well, guess what?!? I am beautiful! I have LOTS of people who love me! I am very strong and smart! And so are YOU!!!

How can this help my "funk"?

First, I recognize the lies. Then, I tell myself the truth. Then, I find ways to make the truth even strong!

I am Beautiful!
- Look at myself in the mirror everyday and see the beauty in myself.
- Dress up and put on make-up every so often, even if there's no one to notice.

I am loved!
- Read old letters and texts from those who love me.
- Call a friend or family member and talk. Be honest.
- Love myself!

I am Strong!
- Remember where I was and how far I have come.
- Challenge myself by setting goals, physical and mental.

I am Smart!
- Read a book and ponder the deeper meaning.
- Take a class and study hard.


With all that being said, I am also in a weight loss "funk." So, I've made a few goals:

Goal: Exercise at least 3 times a week until September 15th.
Reward: A dehydrator! (I know it sounds funny, but I REALLY want one!)

Goal: Complete a 5k (walking or running) by November 1st.
Reward: Go out to a movie!

Goal: Get under 300lbs by October.
Reward: A massage!

Goal: Weigh 275 lbs or less by Christmas!
Reward: A new outfit!

Ready, Set, GO!!